AU scenarios “we’re bad at dating” edition

notallbees:

• I can’t tell whether this is a date because you asked to see a movie but I’m still not sure you’re queer, and I’m toeing the line because maybe you’re just trying to make friends
• One of us thinks this is a date but the other thinks it’s an informal job interview
• I decided to flip a coin about every decision in my life for a week and that’s how we ended up on a date
• We’re both meant to be going on blind dates with other people but we sat down at the wrong table and got our hopes up
• We took each other’s underwear from the laundromat by mistake
• I got drunk and sent a sexy naked pic to my ex but I sent it to you instead by mistake
• We had one really bad date and never spoke again and now our friends have set us up on a blind date
• I’m calling to cancel our date because I’m actually in the ER right now, sorry. …I mean, sure, I guess you can come down here, but… okay…
• We had sex at the office party but we’re both workaholics so we don’t normally date
• We’re going on a blind date - but wait a moment, aren’t you that went down on me in a back alley behind a club year ago? … what do you mean “which one”?
• You bought me at a charity auction and you’re probably a serial killer
• You’re my waiter and I’m on a really crappy date with an asshole
• Your appointment with a sexual therapist was right after mine and we got talking in the waiting room
• We’re on a blind date, but wait a moment… aren’t you that guy who gave me a hand job at a Renaissance Faire a year ago?… what do you MEAN “WHICH ONE”?
• We both picked the same power ballad at karaoke so we sang a duet
• We’re both trying to take advantage of the unlimited appetizers deal on separate dates at TGI Fridays and I got the mozzarella sticks and I’m on my sixth plate and I want to die, can I PLEASE swap you for some of your wings?

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    Pick a ship and one of these and I will talk about it. It may be a notfic, or a piece of dialogue, or a paragraph.

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